How to Talk to Your Partner About Swinging: 5 Movie Recommendations to Spark Interest
If you’ve ever wondered how to bring up the idea of swinging with your partner, watching a movie that touches on the topic can be one of the easiest ways to start. It’s also one of the five approaches I share in my guide How to Start the Conversation — and it’s actually the one I’ve gotten the most positive feedback on.
When selecting the film, there’s no need for a grand announcement of watching a movie about swinging. Keep it casual by saying something along those lines: “I heard this one was good, want to try it?”
Also make sure you can both fully relax — that means the kids are in bed (or out of the house), and there are no unfinished chores or work calls still lingering in your partner’s mind.
All these films work well if you’re slowly introducing the idea of swinging. But they’re just as enjoyable if you’ve already dipped a toe (or more) into the lifestyle.
Here we go in no particular order…
1. Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
Set in Barcelona (which already sets the mood), this one follows two friends who end up in a very nontraditional relationship with a brooding artist and his unpredictable ex-wife. It’s relaxed, sensual, and doesn’t try too hard.
Why it works: It opens up the idea that being away from home (in the right city, with the right people) can shift your perspective. It’s a relaxed way to explore the idea of stepping outside the usual relationship script — without making it a big deal.
2. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
This is one of those films that stays with you. The pace is slow in the best way… you’re meant to sink into it. And of course, the masked party scene is iconic… definitely a must-watch before your first eyes-wide-shut style party. But what makes the film so interesting is how it explores secrecy, trust and all the things couples don’t always say out loud.
Why it works: It’s an easy way to ask, “Do you think masked parties like that actually exist?” without making it personal. Just… let the idea hang in the air.
3. Belle de Jour (1967)
This one is deeply French and for lovers of classic European cinema. It tells the story of a beautiful young housewife who begins exploring a secret double life. There’s no shock factor — just a slow unraveling of fantasy, identity and what it means to want something more, even in a good relationship.
Why it works: It’s not about swinging, but it’s about wanting more. And sometimes that’s enough to start a really interesting conversation.
4. The Story of O (1975)
This one’s definitely heavier. It’s beautifully shot and full of symbolism, but it doesn’t hold back. Think submission, power, surrender… all framed in that moody, vintage-French way.
Why it works: If you and your partner already enjoy art house films or philosophical late-night chats, this one will stay with you long after it ends. Best saved for when you’re both open to something deeper.
5. The More the Merrier (Donde caben dos, 2021)
This Spanish Netflix comedy follows a group of couples exploring modern relationships… including an unexpected visit to a swingers’ club. It’s playful, exaggerated and fun to watch together — no pressure, just entertainment.
Why it works: If you want something light that still touches on the lifestyle in a fun way, this one’s great for easing into the topic and maybe even asking casually, “Would you ever be curious to just… see what one of those places is like?”
Ready to take the conversation further?
This “movie approach” is just one of five ideas I share in my guide How to Start the Conversation.
If you’ve already had that talk and want to explore the real thing, my guide How to Access High-End Libertine Events gives you a full roadmap to the most elegant, upscale swinger events across Europe and the US.